You know it really sucks sometimes to look into a mirror and see that the image you have seen for years has been a facade. I always saw myself as a decent person who treated the people who were important to him like they were. I chalked up my first divorce to having been too young, too broke and too overwhelmed to cope. But, I was fooling myself. I have been faced with the fact that I am emotionally distant or disconnected or stunted or something along those lines. My emotional retardation has caused another person I cared for pain. For that I am sorry.
It is hard to face the realization that you have been causing this much pain to so many people for so long. It hurts when you are forced to confront your true self that only other people see. It is hard to consider that maybe you would be better off keeping to yourself rather than hurt anyone else or feel the pain that seems to be my destiny. I hate being the misfit toy or the dangerous defective product that hurts people. Call me the HUMAN LAWN DART.
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