Sunday, May 26, 2013

Lost the ability to be happy

I don't think I can be happy.   I just can't feel it.  I used to be, I know I was.  Now??????

I had a date last night.  Trena and I had a nice time.  We talked we laughed and then reality crept in.  I guess it was reading that profile on POF that did it.  I realized how much I miss being in love.  Sounds Un-manly but that's it.  I miss being in love.  I miss being part of a whole I am incomplete. 

I hate being alone.  I wake up alone, I come home to an empty place.  I eat alone, think alone sleep alone.  It almost scares me to sleep alone.  I miss just knowing she's there.  I miss seeing her when I wake up and when I get home.

I almost want just to have sex with someone just so I won't feel so alone.  But I know it would be a mirage  i bet it's not an issue for her.  I bet mike is taking care of business.  Fucker.

The worst part is that I have no one who understands, no one to talk to about how I feel. No one who cares.

This hurts.

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